Feeny returns
by Fuzzbucket1
Summary: Mr. Feeny's back!


Ten years after high school graduation, Corey and Topanga reside in a luxurious 3 bedroom apartment in Boston, Massachusetts. They have a 6 year old son named Milton.  
  
Topanga fixes some waffles while Corey reads the New Yorker at the kitchen table. Young Milton runs around the kitchen with a sock on his head while chanting "I AM SOCK MAN!"  
  
"Milton, get dressed for school." Topanga says, exasperatedly. Corey puts the paper down and begins giving Topanga a back massage.  
  
"I'm so happy I married a successful masseuse." Topanga moaned.  
  
"Keep the moaning to a minimum. Last time you moaned us right out of the office Christmas party at my other successful job as CEO of a dot com company." Corey uttered.  
  
Topanga groaned, and sat down at the table. Corey kissed her goodbye and left for his successful jobs. He would be back at 10pm, just in time for Walker: Texas Ranger.  
  
"Come on, Milton. Let's get a move on!"  
  
Meanwhile, at work, Corey was preparing his presentation.  
  
"This could make or break my career, Shawn. If the buyers like what they see, I'll be raking in the big bucks. I really need this money, Shawn. I really need it." Corey said while pacing the room.  
  
Shawn continued slop moping Corey's office floor. "You really need to stop puking so much, Corey." Shawn uttered.  
  
"I puke when nervous. You're a janitor, man. Get used to it." Corey said while inspecting his sexy curly hair in the full-body mirror.  
  
"Hey Corey. You remember..Feeny?" Shawn said cautiously. Corey gasped. His eyes began twitching. He took a seat at his desk and fidgeted with his Axe body spray, then began spraying himself repeatedly.  
  
"I do not wish to discuss that man." Corey said monotonously.  
  
"He wasn't all that bad. Sure, he followed us everywhere. He even followed us to college, but no one seemed to think that was odd. And sure, he followed us on our trip to Las Vegas. And sure, he hired hookers for us, even when he knew you were married. And sure, he offered to marry me in Massachusetts, because he knew I was secretly in love with him. And so what if he almost killed us that night he crashed into our house after a night of boozing? You've got to learn to FORGIVE, Corey. FORGIVE." Shawn said.  
  
"What's this about, Shawn?"  
  
Corey's secretary walked into the room. "Mr. Matthews, you have a visitor. Shall I let him in?"  
  
Corey nodded. A short, fat old man wearing a Sean john sweatshirt entered the room.  
  
"HEY HEY HEY. IT'S THE FEEN-STER!" bellowed the man.  
  
Back at home, Topanga was doing squats. Morgan, her younger sister, was watching TV while eating Doritos. The phone rang.  
  
"'Sup?" Said Morgan.  
"Morgan, get Topanga on the phone IMMEDIATELY." Corey whispered.   
"Anythang you discuss wit her you discuss wit me." Morgan sternly.   
"Get. My. Wife. On. THE PHONE NOW." Corey screamed.  
Morgan yelped, and threw the phone at Topanga while she was in mid-squat.  
"Hello?"   
"It's Corey."  
"Hey snookums."  
"He's back." Topanga gasped, did three more squats, and gasped again.  
"What does he WANT, Corey?"  
"Topanga, how ya been, girl!?   
"Mr. Feeny?"   
"Yea, it's me! I snatched the phone from your boring ol husband. He needs to lighten up! I've been wondering if I could ask you for a small favor!"   
"And what would that be?"  
"Well, I have no place to reside, Topanga. We were so close when you kids were younger. I was wondering if perhaps I could crash at your pad for a bit?"  
Topanga gritted her teeth, wishing this crazy man would leave her alone.  
"Um. What does my husband say?"   
"He thinks it's an excellent idea!"   
Corey shook his head and attempted to grab the phone.   
"Well, then. I suppose for a few weeks.."   
"GREAT! I'll be there within minutes."  
  
"Bitch, you a pushova." Morgan said.  
  
Later that night, Corey, very tired from giving a massage to a massive sumo wrestler, entered his apartment. Mr. Feeny was watching television in his underwear.  
  
"Oh, SWELL. This is what I come home to every night for the next few weeks." Corey mumbled.   
"Hello there, Corey. Did you work hard tonight? I ate your dinner. I was hungry. I'm sorry. Now, may I sleep in your bed tonight? You're young. You can handle the sofa, right? I can't. It scratches my skin!" said Mr. Feeny while he scratched his chest.  
  
Shawn walked out of Corey's bedroom wearing Corey's robe.  
"Uh...hey, Cor! I was just taking a nap. In your bed." Shawn said quickly.  
"Come back to bed, Shawn. Corey won't be home for another hour." Topanga yelled from the bedroom.  
  
"I'm home, dear." Corey said while walking toward the living room. Topanga gasped, and leaped out of the bed.  
"Oh, hey Corey. Shawn was just, uh, napping. He was tired from cleaning your office all day." Topanga said nervously.  
  
"Shawn sure loves his naps. Okay, anyway, Mr. Feeny wants to sleep in this bed tonight. So I'm taking the sofa." Corey said.  
  
Corey woke up at 6AM to prepare for another 16 hour work day. Mr. Feeny and Shawn had kicked Corey off the sofa and onto the floor so they could watch cartoons.  
  
"I got the day off, Cor. Have fun at work." Shawn said, while dropping pop tart crumbs everywhere.  
  
It was 12pm, and Corey was bored. He wondered how Topanga was doing with Mr. Feeny around.  
  
She must be suffering, Corey thought. That man is a lunatic. I'll give her a call.  
  
Meanwhile, at home, Feeny, Shawn and Topanga are dancing in the living room while Morgan raps. "You got skill, girl!" Feeny said while showing off his moves. The phone rang, but no one picked it up.  
  
"Oh NO! What's going on there?! I better go check!" Corey ran out of the office, and drove home.  
  
Corey barged into the house. His jaw dropped when he saw Feeny and Morgan watching MTV together.   
"What...the..where's my wife?" Corey heard moans from the bedroom.   
"What the hell? Is she getting a massage? FROM SOMEONE ELSE?" Corey ran into the bedroom.  
"Just as I suspected! My best friend and my WIFE! In bed. Giving massages to each other!" Corey screamed angrily. Topanga and Shawn exchanged confused glances.  
"OH. Yea. Corey, I'm sorry, but uh, Shawn's massages are, uhm. Nice. I can't resist." Topanga said, wondering why her husband was so dense.  
  
Later that night, while Corey slept peacefully on the bedroom floor (Morgan slept over, and had the sofa,) the gang plotted a way to get rid of the boring man.  
  
"I say we sell him on e-bay." Shawn whispered.   
"How 'bout we just leave. Tonight. He'll never know." Feeny suggested.  
"EXCELLENT! Pack up, quietly. Let's go to Canada! I hear their Oreos are wicked good." Topanga said, excitedly.  
  
Corey's alarm woke him up at 6AM. He yawned, and stretched out his body.   
"Where's my beautiful wife?" He said gleefully.   
"WHAT THE HELL?!" The entire house was empty. Corey's eyes filled with tears. "Feeny..Feeny......he DESTROYS everything he touches. He TOOK my LIFE. I WILL HAVE REVENGE, FEENY. I WILL HAVE..REVENGE!"  
  
"Dad? Why haven't I been mentioned in this story except for the beginning?" Milton asked. Corey turned around and saw his six year old child eating oatmeal at the table.  
"Oh, Milton. We don't need them. Sure, they took everything. Including my pants. And my soul. But that is okay. We have each other, Milton. Forever. You and I, son."  
  
Milton put a sock on his head and began running around the room. Corey smiled. 


End file.
